Why A World Of Knowledge Failed To Aid Me — The Information Age Fallacy

The world is my oyster. This is an era with no restrictions and no reason to fail – as I have all the information I could ever need. But is that really what I was missing?

Carpe Diem

"The digital revolution has changed the world in many ways. Technology has made the world more connected than ever, and information has never been more accessible."

A school essay on social media would probably start with those words. But I've discovered through a decade-long slow burn – much of this "personal" outreach wasn't true.

Platforms promised connection but only harnessed superficial falsehoods and sensationalism. Loneliness became my identity and the internet was the cure. I had to cling to it for the slightest glimpse of humanity.

For over 10 years, I did. But it turns out, I would've been better off never "connecting" in the first place. Social media directly targeted my deepest insecurities and fears, evoking anger and hopelessness, even morphing who I was.

I now realize how awful I feel getting sucked back into these platforms. The deathly dread fills me within seconds, with a bombardment of addictive sensory overload.

That was one side to the false promise.

The other claim is one of opportunity. You have endless information at your disposal. You can learn and become anything you want to be. And your problems can be solved so easily.

"You have no reason not to succeed."

I've discovered how untruthful this statement was. The idea I was simply refusing to do what was right. This notion repeatedly attached to my mind – if I hadn't done anything, it's because I was lazy.

I read countless tips and advice pieces. Scrolling and scrolling for hours. I tried to execute them. Empty my mind to stop feeling bad. Follow these rules to improve your work. Do this, do that.

Yet I was stuck in place regardless of how much I adhered. No improvement, only frustration to everlasting hell.

I recently made a massive breakthrough in music production and mixing. I made volume adjustments based on what I heard on my phone's speaker, rather than only listening on my headphones.

For multiple years, I couldn't figure why my levelling tweaks never fell in place. Turns out my perception was way off. The volume level that worked sounded almost inaudible in my headphones.

I thought it was virtually mute, but it was just right.
If only I had that one bit of information.

But the thing is – I did have the information. Through my wanton wandering on the internet, I read the tip to listen to your mix on multiple devices multiple times.

I never tried because I didn't have any other audio players but my mixing headphones and crappy built-in speakers, so one choice seemed better. Also, another tip was to get good low-distortion headphones.

My hearing surely wasn't wrong with such pricey studio equipment. But turns out, my gear was never the problem – in fact, it caused that lull of complacency.

With widespread information comes the problem of misinformation. Unreliable sources abound, and one must use their judgment to determine what to filter out.

They hammered in the mantra to remain skeptical since elementary school – how Wikipedia wasn't a reliable source.

I sure as hell wish that were still the biggest issue.

At some point, I started to realize "recommendations" were embedded in search results that were completely unrelated to the original query.

I read articles only to discover endless advertisements with hardly any viable information. Here's some copy-pasted insight to your problem. Our product does that.

Worst yet, the mental manipulation, digging deep into one's insecurities and fear of the unknown. Deviously crafted narratives to create a problem and sell the solution.

It wasn't even subtle anymore. It was outright outreach aggression.

"You are broken and worthless. You are doing everything wrong. You need me, and you are an idiot to refuse. Buy this damn product."

Yet even if widespread information were 100% honest and credible, it never would've helped me.

In this digital world, seeking information requires a query with specific keywords to retrieve relevant documents.

I have to know what I'm looking for, in other words. But often my problems can't be put into a few words, if any at all. My path forward remains obscured in fog.

The query takes form in a generalized assumption, and the information returned matches/preys on that caliber. I get platitudes, repetitious tips, and false shortcuts to complexities.

Nothing gets solved, so I have to keep coming back for more.

I want to start my own business. Surely, nothing stops me – I have all the information available in the world. I can just Google what I need to know.

But I don't know what I need to know, so I literally search "What do I need to know?" More generics and misinformation ensue, I'm paralyzed out of cluelessness, and I never take the first step to achieve my goal.

I mention the obstacles I've already overcome again. There's a discrepancy with my journey. Information failed to help me, but it wasn't necessarily wrong either.

Past tips I never believed in have become part of my present truth. They didn't work, but now they appear to. I listen to music on multiple devices. I write more concisely. I take initiative.

Those actions and descriptors are technically my truth now.

They're also lies by omission.

The Path Of Becoming

I didn't fail for an eternity because I chose not to try or wrongly do things. There was no binary switch for me to flip.

Before, I remained silent because I feared judgment. I never volunteered to take on more work, because I was terrified I'd fall short.

Through supportive environments and opportunities to work, I've grown in confidence – not to mention my mind has matured simply through age.

I have fewer qualms to speak my mind. I know I can do what's needed to complete a project. I know people are people regardless of a job title or seniority. The barrier that once prevented me from acting true to myself has lowered.

Doing impactful work gives me meaning. That's why I can now actively seek chances to fuel my sense of purpose and grow. It no longer holds a fearful meaning, but a positive connotation.

That's what the phrase "take initiative" has come to mean for me.

This Sunday, I woke up to an idea for a project in the morning. I'd once again searched what "starting a business" meant – yet remained just as clueless with the "how to register an LLC" articles.

While I didn't see how this project could earn money to support myself, releasing a usable product during this hopeless time was better than nothing. Plus, the only reason I even care about green paper is because I'm forced to.

I hopped out of bed and began building a basic Django application, setting up the different environments. I registered a domain name.

The main cloud platforms were a pain to set up – I wanted to get this up as fast as possible. So I found and used Heroku for the first time.

I'd heard of it before but didn't know anything about it, so it was a pleasant surprise to see how simple it was to add my domain and services.

By 11 PM that same day, my basic homepage was live. The start of a platform to foster collaboration and get help with creative works from others needing the same.

One could say I could've done this years ago if I put in a single day more effort.

That's not the whole story though.

This project took inspiration from multiple sources – one being the recent civic organization I onboarded with only 1 month ago.

To join multiple organizations took confidence. To gain confidence took over a year of volunteer work with kind people. Finding pro bono work as a way to progress in a cruel world, was preceded by mental torture for months.

Another aspect comes from realizing what true online connection is. I became shell-shocked and lonely on social media, but it felt like I had written to a human for the first time in years when I discovered pen pal apps.

Finally, my preceding years of failure in my creative endeavors. Years of work for projects that I'm too embarrassed to recall. Then another year of white page syndrome, despite how much I tried.

There's been countless times when I've felt lost and alone – not knowing what to know. And as aforementioned, the information abound in the Digital Age hardly helped but certainly harmed.

This product results from years of insights and discoveries I've made. It's something meaningful to me. It is not that I refused to "just make a project." It took this long to be able to do so.

I had to find what the term "project"– my project meant to me.

That is why no information helped me... until it did. A "project" can span from whittling wood for a doll to building a timber house. "Motivation" can come from spite or joy for various reasons.

These generic words come from everywhere. They're what one must and should do. This is how this works.

But nowhere do they show how these concepts and terms fit into one's story. There is no nuance or context. Even disregarding the exploitation of individuals' desperation for answers, conveying complexities through letters and symbols is hardly happening.

That's not to say it's impossible. I read a tip to reduce filler words, but only execute that when I feel it's right.

To cut out words is precise and actionable. I experiment, change, and notice excessive adjectives or adverbs over time. I realize my writing flows better when I cut more.

Soon, that concept with no merit is now my truth. I improved by becoming concise – that is true for my present reality. But that doesn't showcase my journey to troubleshoot, trust, and integrate that.

A point cannot be applied to a continuous line.

This is why my perception of school soured after graduating and realizing this. This is a whole rumination on its own though – one for another time.

I don't need information. I need to experience.

I need to explore possibilities and see new things with my own eyes. I need to discover what everything means to me.

An impossible job search kept me in the dark. My time was occupied with filling out pointless applications and keeping myself from self-harm. It was an utter waste.

I was deprived of any experiences to expand my horizons. Thankfully, I found a path to unlock them anyway – that search itself being one.

I've had wonderful opportunities to explore new domains. I've got to work on things I never could've imagined. That has brought insight from areas I never even considered, like politics.

I'm eager to see what will come. To push past the need for rote memorization. To slowly clear the haze that's hung over me for years. To no longer rely on provocative external sources.

Nothing that attempts to sell a predefined path is reliable to me.

Information will always help me with facts. Why do dolphins chew pufferfish? What year did the Roman Empire fall? They're nice to know, and maybe one day I'll find them of use.

But my true knowledge only comes from within.

I'll take my time to uncover mine.