It's been a few months. But it feels much longer.

Long Time No See

Nearly 3 months have passed since I wrote something on this website. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though. Writing was my tool to acknowledge, understand, and overcome my adversities.

So perhaps the lack of a need to write means I've overcome many struggles. Maybe I've grown bored. That tends to happen quite often. I tend not to stick with something for too long.

Well, not anymore at least.

They say the perception of time is correlated with novel experiences. As a kid, there are many new things to explore. As an adult, things are more routine. Things still are, but a lots happened in these past months.

I left my first job and moved to a new domain once more. It's taken time, but I'm settled in a month later. EMS logistics – gathering supplies, checking rigs.

Driving is now a common task, and I'm more comfortable operating even the giant ambulance known as "The Beast." The city streets don't feel as daunting.

Though yesterday was a bit of a nutty day. Right outside the operations center, a guy was hit-and-run by a dumpster truck of all vehicles. Which I guess, if there's any place to get run over, it's right outside the EMS operations center.

The guy lost his ear, clean cut. I saw a photo of the detached ear in a plastic bag. I can smell a fat lawsuit for the city, too.

If that weren't enough, one of the crew's supplies had a... slight issue. As in, their rig keys touched the positive terminal of a Stryker gurney battery, started sparking like hell, and then welded together.

When I was presented with this strange sight, I then tried to pry it off like an idiot. One wrong move, and I feel a sharp burn in my finger, which causes me to jump back and audibly go ouch.

And so, that's how I also got electrocuted for the first time. On the same day. No lasting damage, though. Still breathing. Still had to finish the shift.

It wasn't quite how the cartoons depicted it. I didn't even think it was an electric shock, because it wasn't instantaneous. Though after some Googling, apparently electricution can also ramp up in pain, as it did.

The perks of this job are like heaven. I feel like I'm doing a third of the work for more pay. 50-cent and $1 vending machines. Free breakfast occasionally. There's actually a lot of downtime.

And to think my job's union deal is actually considered "bad." There's stress at times and frustrations like any other job. But man, this feels comparatively luxurious.

I call a Waymo robotaxi – a driverless car every morning to go to work. There are restaurants everywhere around me. I can order online, pick it up, and retreat back into my solitary apartment like the introvert I am.

Expenses are not cheap for sure. But I'm reminding myself that time is more valuable than money. I recall the lessons I've learned and the external notions that destroyed me.

I will always remember to enjoy life.
Whatever funds are left over, is mine to splurge.

This is more important given the little time I have now. I wake up at 4:30 AM, and don't get back until 7:10 PM. I have a one-hour dinner with family, then get right back to bed.

I'm not really infatuated with software anymore. No matter how much tech lingo and buzzwords the industry throws, I know it's all just logic and code. Thankfully, AI agents have gotten better in time for my boredom.

Now AI completes the repetitive, banal work for me.

A job is a job. I know this now. Not a reflection of my worth, because that's not something with a price.

The snobby interviewers, the ludicrous tests. The abuse from the tech industry throughout the 3, nearly 4 years since I graduated. All without even being hired yet, mind you. At least pay me before abusing me.

I now know they were never worth a thought in the first place. A job is first and foremost for money, but that doesn't mean I can't be cordial. That doesn't mean I can't make acquaintances.

Knowing the boundaries of a job certainly doesn't mean I won't do my best. I'm being told I'm knocking my responsibilities out of the park, even though I feel like I'm not "busy" enough.

But when the topic comes to respect. When it comes to playing games and pretentiousness. I got wise advice from an older co-worker – some people may think they're a hotshot, but they're not. They're normal, like us.

Not just in EMS, not just in tech, but everywhere.
As for those who drove me to such dire thoughts – oh well, f– -'em.

I believe I mentioned wanting to stream on Twitch, also. I still shy away from the terms "streamer" or "content creator" because they feel quite vapid. But I've been working on it for a month or two.

I've seen the ordinary folk who cut through the stereotype of the screaming, out-of-touch "influencers." I've become integrated into "communities" that are genuine, not superficial.

And for the first time in what feels like forever, I've met someone I can call a friend.

I literally never had a Discord voice call before this. Nor have I socialized much in situations with more than 2 people. I still suck at it and tend to shy away, but I have more experience.

I never felt like I knew someone who shared my humor and had so much in common. But by sheer chance, our paths have crossed – and I'm glad they did.

So yeah, a lot has happened, and that's perhaps why I feel like years have passed in these few months. It has truly been a novel experience.

The year 2026 has arrived – the unfathomable number keeps going up, but never down. New year, same stuff though.

I'll find my interests and what causes to contribute my time to. I'll enjoy life and foster close connections. Above all, I will enjoy my time on this Earth.

I will not give my time to those who do not deserve it. I will not waste it on menial rubbish. I will not grovel, concede, or be defined by others. I will not be dictated on what is more or less significant.

I'll work toward what feels right to me. Above all, I'll enjoy life.
That's all the guidance I need.