Taken for a ride by the fear of sending a message.
Introduction
One would think that communication through text would be easier than face-to-face dialogue.
After all, the person I’m conversing with can’t see my face, or anything else for that matter.
And I don’t need to worry about my voice cracking, stumbling over my words, or sounding weird. Theoretically, it should be a much less daunting task.
Yet there I was. Still sitting with this unsent message. Over two hours later.
11:32 AM: Mission Briefing
I’ve been engrossed in working on a project. I’ve been working hard to devise a solution for a front-end issue, and now I should solicit feedback from the people involved.
All I needed to do is ask them if this could work. That shouldn’t be too hard.
11:33 AM: Constructing The Message
Hello [REDACTED], I have been working on a solution for this issue, and was wondering if I could get some of your thoughts on whether this would work. I’m thinking there could maybe be this code that does [stuff], and perhaps there could maybe be these things adding [these features].
Please let me know what you think.
11:45 AM: My Grammar Sucks
I don’t know why, but the syntax of the sentence looked weird. I couldn’t explain exactly, but it just didn’t look right.
Did I use too many commas or something? Were my choices of adjectives right? What is wrong with this garbled mess?
I kept switching around the order of words and changing the phrasing. Ten minutes pass. Then around twenty. Finally, I get to a point where it’s starting to look okay… no, it still looks off to me.
12:03 PM: Check Your Ego
My mind then starts reevaluating all the details of the message again. I start to think about all the ways my message could be perceived wrong.
I have been working on a solution
“You’ve been working? What, is it all about you now?”
Who cares about me? Why would I even say that? Am I that self-centered?
Please let me know what you think.
“What makes you think you can command others what to do? Do you think you’re better than them? Are you the boss now?”
I look at every single word and continue this relentless cycle of overthinking. After I’ve checked every single word… I check them again. If I had missed something and ended up sounding overbearing, I’d look like a complete jerk.
12:17 PM: What Am I Even Doing
Should I even be sending this message anyways?
They’re very busy people, and this is taking time away from their work. They probably think I didn’t bother trying to find a solution before asking.
I mean I know I’ve already come up with the solution, but still. Am I so unsure of myself that I need to seek validation from others? Is that what I’m bothering them for?
I should ask ChatGPT to validate my own feelings.
CHATGPT: It’s great that you’ve drafted a message to request feedback on your code! Remember that it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure, but it’s important to take the leap and ask for feedback.
The message you’ve written is clear and respectful, and it provides some context on what you’re looking for feedback on. By framing your request in a specific way, you’re making it easier for the person you’re reaching out to provide constructive feedback that can help you improve your work.
If you’re still feeling nervous about sending the message, take a deep breath and remind yourself that feedback is a necessary part of the development process. By asking for feedback, you’re taking a proactive step towards improving your skills and growing as a developer.
The message is clear and respectful, okay. I got approval from the AI.
…But is it really?
12:32 PM: Maybe Now’s The Time
Nearly an hour has passed. I’ve checked this message a dozen times now, and everything looks okay. The phrasing seems good, and I got feedback from ChatGPT multiple times.
It is just a message asking for feedback. That’s it.
I guess it’s okay to send the message now.
12:34 PM: Hell No
Hold on. I didn’t include any swearing in my message, right? Like for no reason whatsoever, what if I started calling them a [REDACTED] [BLEEP] son of a [BLEEP]?
I don’t remember doing anything like that. But maybe I have some split personality that did while I was unconscious.
Some horrible, insulting text could be embedded in the message right now. And I’d have no idea.
As soon as they see that, I’m going to look like the most unhinged lunatic in the workplace.
I can’t be too safe. I need to check again.
12:50 PM: And Again
CHATGPT: No, the message you provided does not contain any swearing or insults. It’s a polite and professional message that simply requests feedback on your code. It’s natural to have some anxiety or uncertainty when sending a message like this, but it’s important to remember that you can always review and edit your message before sending it to ensure that it accurately conveys your intentions. If you’re still concerned, you can always ask a trusted friend or colleague to review the message with you to provide some additional feedback or perspective.
12:57 PM: And Yet Again
CHATGPT: No, the message you provided does not contain any inappropriate content such as NSFW or pornographic material. It’s a professional message that simply requests feedback on your code, and it’s appropriate for a work environment. If you’re still concerned, you can always review and edit your message before sending it to ensure that it accurately conveys your intentions and is appropriate for the workplace.
1:03 PM: There’s Literally Nothing Left
Okay. That’s enough. I need to stop.
The phrasing is fine. The grammar is fine.
I don’t have a split personality. And there is nothing that wouldn’t be safe for work either.
There is literally no reason to delay things any longer.
I am just asking for feedback on the work that I was assigned to do. It’s not a reach to ask.
Just press that button.
…..
But I can’t do it. My brain can’t stop thinking about what’s about to happen.
My hand is on the ENTER key, but it’s like it’s made of lead. It just won’t press down.
1:05 PM: Okay, You Know What?
I need to do it.
I’m just going to slowly and carefully apply more and more pressure to this button. And I’m going to keep doing it until it reaches the point of no return.
I place a finger on the ENTER key once more and slowly start increasing tension in my muscles.
My hand starts to shake more as that tension increases. I continue to push through the barrier that had been imposed in front of me.
And at long last…
*pop*
There was nothing more to worry about. Message sent.
It was over.
CHATGPT: Congratulations on sending your message! It takes courage to put yourself out there and ask for feedback, and I’m proud of you for taking that step. Remember to be open-minded and receptive to the feedback you receive, and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow as a developer. Best of luck with your code!
1:07 PM
But was I really, really so sure I hadn’t said something of terrible consequence??? I checked again and again, scouring every word of the sentences for any hint of malice. It was not yet too late to save myself from a horrible fate of ridicule. My professional reputation was at stake here, and I had everything to lose. There was still time before they read the message that I could vanquish those words from view. And so I searched frantically. I looked again and found nothing. But to make sure, I checked again. And again. And again.
1:19 PM
And again. And again. And again.
1:26 PM
And again and again. And ag-
The Next Day, 5:43 AM
Slack: One new message from #work
Reviewer: lgtm