About Me

Self Introduction – 2025 Edition
This is my story. So far.

A Rollercoaster Bio

Like many others, I once lived a carefree life as a kid. Kindness, joy, and optimism for this world were abundant. Over the years, that presence has waxed and waned dramatically.

I was always told I was too quiet. Shy, passive, sensitive. Perhaps a true statement, which only worsened as time went on. Frustrating nonetheless.

I dreaded the presence of others. A pit existed within my gut. Anxiety forced my face into a frown so severe it hurt. I felt terrified of how others perceived me, not wanting any teacher to call on me. My voice was so weak that I was borderline inaudible.

I was isolated for most of those 4 years. An outcast, a loser, the quiet kid that might've well not existed. Depression and anxiety skyrocketed, even more so as I turned to social media.

Anger and frustration clouded my mind. I felt hopeless about the state of the world. It made me argumentative, short-circuited, and polar. It brought out the worst in me, as I justified my wrongs, thinking the world was against me.

I chose the ballistic route. There was no hope, there was no future. It was just me versus everything and everyone else, and I'd fight fire with fire. Ages passed before I finally snapped out of my fervor, wondering how far my morals and decorum had fallen.

It's scary how far justifications can lead down a dark path. As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Despite those mistakes, college years felt like an improvement. I interacted with a few people and even became acquainted. I was still quite inept, but I had never hung out with someone or attended social events before.

For the first time in over a decade, I felt I could connect with people.

Of course, fate would never call for a happy ending. Not even halfway through my university experience, the world was struck with a century-defining pandemic.

Gone were the face-to-face interactions. Gone was any semblance of humanity. Back to the glowing boxes and infinite feeds of despair.

Two and a half years later, pomp and circumstance ring out again. For the first time in ages, I see crowds of people. People in the same cohort who survived the same circumstances as I did.

There was a sense of unity, even if I didn't recognize most. The speeches rang out about how we were ready to enter the workforce as professionals. We would be the voices and engineers to change the world.

I was ready for the bright future. The promise I was made over 16 years prior.

Bullsh*t.

In my first interview, I was laughed at. The subsequent ones followed a pattern of time-wasting, dehumanization, and ghosting. I never felt so picked apart and disrespected.

Just my luck to graduate at the end of an industry peak, and into the biggest downturn in almost two decades. But something fundamental was awry, too.

Everywhere I went, I was only reminded of how worthless I was. No matter how many endeavors I attempted, how many projects I worked on, or what ideas I had.

I hadn't done enough. I wasn't trying hard enough. You're a delusional failure, not suited for the real world.

With no viable options in sight, I fell into my worst mental state yet. It somehow eclipsed even the horrors of high school. Despite how bad it was, I was never driven to hurt myself.

Not until the cruelty of this "real world" bore itself.

I ended up in the only domain that respected me – volunteerism. In pro bono work, I felt wanted and appreciated. There was ample opportunity to gain experience with real projects.

I had the opportunity to make significant contributions and learned I was more capable than I believed. Yet the employment search continued its assault on my identity, as did social judgment.

Over two and a half years later, I broke my streak and found a job. It wasn't in my field, but minimum wage retail. I felt the difference – everything felt genuine, opposite to the pretentiousness and dehumanization in tech.

The beginning was rough, dealing with the public's insanity. I'm now nearly a year in. I was promoted to a shift lead just 4 months in. Despite the crazies, I've connected with many people. My social skills are better than ever, even if I'm still awkward. I am more assertive. And my resistance to adversity is strong.

It's tough with constant overtime, but I still engineer software. I have many other artistic endeavors. Above all, I believe not what society and others tell me, but in my experiences – in myself.

I may not have reached utopia, but I am more content than ever. I'm sure I will get there in time.

The Things I Do

These are the activities and interests I work on, or try in my free time.

Software Engineering

As aforementioned, I am a college graduate. I earned my Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science in 2022. I began working pro bono for a wildlife nonprofit in 2023, on a volunteer-driven, AI-assisted, wildlife annotation platform.

I did a smaller, automation-based project with a food bank before joining a civic organization in 2024. Their project focuses on alternatives to toxic social media to foster productive political discourse.

I juggle between multiple nonprofit projects and my own. My projects used to revolve around narrative games, but I've shifted away from that sphere.

My main project is an experimental website called retconn.org, which aims to foster a productive environment for writers to get feedback and connect with collaborators.

The premise combines parts of the philosophy behind the civic organization with my own writer's block, social media, and connection experiences.

While I'm not eager about games in a pure sense anymore, I resonate with gamification. "Project Restoration" is a concept I've had stowed away, utilizing narrative storytelling with geolocation to drive real-world environmental impact and data collection.

Or without the marketing mumbo jumbo – a litter picking anime game. Been slowly thinking it out, even commissioning some basic artwork. There's a lot on my plate, I'm taking my time.

I enjoy working with Django/Python. It just happened to be the framework I used first and most, so I've used it for all my websites. React is another I've learned through volunteering.

The most important lesson I've learned is that code is the least important part of software to me. Rather, it's the motivations and philosophy behind the software that matter.

The wonder I had for computers was unfortunately killed by the mistreatment I endured by the job-seeking process's inhumanity. But I now know that computation is a tool, not an identity.

My passion lives on through my beliefs.

Music Production

[...]

Writing (Non-fiction & Fiction)

[...]

Photo & Videography

[...]

Gaming & Gambling

[...]

Aviation/Space

[...]